Troubling memories
Today’s rain has perpetuated a disturbing memory that sprang up again on my way to my reunion the other night. I haven’t driven much since high school, so the 45 minute drive to Anne’s place in rain at night put me on edge. Because of my infrequent driving experience, I knew that I did not want to drink much at the party before driving back. It was a rare instance of acting as the designated driver.
The risk factor is what brought back an unpleasant memory of a nearly disastrous mistake I made as a younger man living in San Francisco. I’d gotten a bit too inebriated before going out to a club with my girlfriend at the time. Winter rains were falling in blinding sheets…and my girlfriend decided that she wanted me to drive us in her car to the club. Within a block of the apartment, I was turning left from 18th Street onto Guerrero to head downtown. Suddenly she screamed, “Watch out!” I slammed on the brakes and turned my attention away from my worries about oncoming traffic to the front of the car. A young man in the crosswalk was leaping to get out of the way. I’d nearly hit someone.
This obviously had a deep impact. I still feel ashamed when the memory returns. And I cross crosswalks all the time, so you can imagine what pops into my head when a car approaches. Perhaps outing myself as a near killer like this will help me process the event a little further. I know I shouldn’t forget, but I could forget a little more.
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